DEAR UNTHANKED: If I felt close to the daughter, I would attend the wedding. I would give her a gift, recognizing that it probably would not be acknowledged because the girls were never taught the social graces. But I wouldn’t preemptively penalize daughter No. 3 for the sin of omission committed by her sisters.

In your case, you might ask your daughter if there’s a reason your granddaughter prefers cash gifts. Many times, practical matters can lead couples to eschew physical gifts in f

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

A few years ago, we were invited to the wedding of my cousin’s eldest daughter. Although my cousin and I are close, I barely know the daughter. We were invited only because my cousin wanted me there.